***SPOILER ALERT**** If you really want to know
what's going on over here, don't skim over the following Bible verses. I
know, I know, I'm guilty of that too, but this time, they tell the story better
than I ever could....
After a horrificly trying evening, I pull out my journal. I
don't journal as often as I would like, but it is a habit I am trying to build
because it is a testimony of how God has been working in my life. We
think we'll NEVER forget...but we do...quickly.
This evening involved screaming, crying, thrashing,
hollering, howling, flopping, and snarling (mostly by Josie!).
Help us, Lord! We are in WAY over our heads on this
one. What have we done?! Did we miss something?! This can't
possibly be what you intended. You WANT us to adopt. You BLESS
those who adopt. How is THIS a blessing?!
Yes, she's been institutionalized for her entire six years.
Yes, she's very immature and underdeveloped. Yes, she's a precious
child of God who needs and deserves love, compassion and a family.
But here is where the rubber meets the road, the head meets
the heart, the faith meets the actions...
And so I pull out the journal. I read what I wrote
last month...six months ago....TWELVE months ago....
Jan. 13, 2011
"All this also comes from the Lord Almighty,
whose plan is wonderful, whose wisdom is magnificent. Is. 28:29
Jan. 14, 2011
"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I
will bring your children from the east...and your daughters from the ends of
the earth."
Is. 43:5-6
April 14, 2011
"Now may the God of peace...equip you with
everything good for doing his will..." Hebrews 13:20-21
May 2, 2011
"He will respond to the prayer of the destitute;
he will not despise their plea. Let this be written for future
generations, that a
people not yet created may praise the Lord.
Psalm 102:17
"May your hearts be FULLY COMMITTED to the Lord
our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands." 1 Kings 8:61
July 2, 2011 **after we had
found out about Josie**
"The Lord SUSTAINS the fatherless..."
Psalm 146:9
"You, O God, are the HELPER of the
fatherless." Psalm 10:14
"You DEFEND the fatherless."
Psalm 10:18
July 12, 2011
"Endure hardship as discipline. God
is treating you as sons[/daughters!]" Hebrews 12:7-11
"Imitate those who through faith and
patience inherit what has been promised." Hebrews 6:12
August 11, 2011
"Though you have made me see troubles,many
and bitter, you will restore my life again...You will increase my honor and
comfort
me once again." Psalm
71:20-21
August 31, 2011
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."
Psalm 46:10
September 20, 2011 and October
20, 2011
"He must become greater; I must become
less." John 3:30
November 29, 2011 ***the day
before we left for China***
"In the morning you hear my voice, O Lord: in
the morning I prepare a prayer for You and watch and WAIT FOR YOU TO SPEAK
TO MY HEART!" Psalm 5:3
(emphasis added)
And since that life-changing day last week when we got
Josie, God is faithful to speak to my heart....
December 12, 2011
"Oh! Teach us to live well!
Teach us to live wisely and well!...Make up for the bad times with some
good times; we've seen
enough evil to last a lifetime. ...
And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, CONFIRMING THE
WORK THAT WE
DO. Oh, yes. Affirm the work that
we do." Psalm 90:17
I am sharing all this with you with a weighted down,
despondent heart. All I've said and written about caring for orphans and
adoption and God's will......we need that truth now...and it IS truth....to
anchor, uphold, transform, carry us.
God's word for me today. I must journal this.
Straight from the mouth of Jesus...
December 15, 2011
"...not My will, but always Yours be done." Luke 22:42 (AMP)
God's will.
In our situation right now.
Easy?
No
Enjoyable?
No
Desired?
Yes
Better than
MY will? Amazingly, yes
Eternally
significant? Absolutely
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U.S. consulate; it's official
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our whole group after the oath ceremony
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esoteric "red couch" picture
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cute one
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| serious one |
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| Josie and the babies |
Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that God's Word is living and active, reminding you of who HE IS and who YOU ARE. Those verses are wonderful stones of remembrances that I am glad you journaled and glad you were able to hang on to again. That is a reminder to me that I shouldn't forget to be writing down what I am thinking, feeling, and experiencing in my journal as well as what God's word is teaching me; it gets hard though when I am blogging! Julie, thank you for making it real for us and helping us know how to pray. I don't know everything going on with Josie, but one thing that came to mind was that this is a good thing that is happening. From the Empowered to Connect conference we attended, if your child grieves a lot in the beginning and it is rough, that is a good thing. Now I am not in your spot,but I'm sure it doesn't feel like a good thing having to deal with all the intense feelings and emotions (for both you and Josie). We keep praying for you all and especially will pray as you begin your LONG journey home. Tonight (Thursday) our little adoption support group will be gathering and lifting you up before the Lord! If you have any more specific prayer requests email them!
ReplyDeleteOh Julie! It was so good to read through your blog. We are praying for you and rooting for you. I love that you wrote out all these wonderful promises from God's Word - they are such an encouragement to me too. I am so thankful that you are clinging to the Lord. He is so good! Your faith is a wonderful testimony to us all. We love Josie already and can't wait to meet her. The Lord will continue to be faithful to you! Love, Becky
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post! Love the scripture! God is so so God!
ReplyDeleteI wish we could have met- we had our CA on the 15th too! We are packing up now and heading to Beijing then home tomorrow! YAYAY
Blessings on your journey with your dear daughter. Love you heart!
I looked for you when we were walking the island but didn't see you.
Jean
My heart aches for you. Praying, crying. I've been there - some day are still there. Hang on to His promises. Hugs, tears and prayers.
ReplyDeleteWhat a day. Praying for you this morning, to El Roi: the God Who Sees (Gen. 16:7, when Hagar feels lost, misplaced, and alone). Comforting to know He sees you and David and Josie now, and He knew you would need all those precious words He gave you beforehand. Not easier, but comforting. Hugs and prayers for mercy to you all.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say that I totally understand where you are at. The memories of these things are very fresh from bringing our girls home in February. If you need to talk/vent we are here. Our heavenly Father created community, in part, to allow us to bear each other's burdens. Our prayers are definitely with you.
ReplyDelete